SELECTIVE MODESTY

Dear breastfeeding mothers, yes, I am going to shame some of you and no doubt make myself out as a terrible person. I am afraid I strongly disagree with your sentiments over exposed boob breast feeding. I don’t expect you to leave the area, or be ashamed that you are feeding your child, and yes it is completely natural… but for the love of god exhibit a degree of modesty. Not everybody wants to witness your sagging, white, vein riddled milk sacks flopping all over the place.

I’LL TAKE MINE WELL DONE

It is the height of summer in Australia. It’s hot… REALLY hot! And when it’s really hot, people become Nazis about not leaving children in cars. In fact, they are fairly obsessed by this even when it is cold. In WA, leaving your child in a car alone can get you a $20,000 fine and 6 years in prison.

TRAINS, PLANES, & AUTOMOBILES… AND BOATS

I am constantly surprised by the European response to the current plight of the Syrian refugees. Why are people so eager to help these people? And why does Australia receive such intense hatred for its zero tolerance policy on boat people?

I may be sounding a touch cruel with my feelings on this matter, but let us look at this from a different perspective. I have absolutely no problem whatsoever with aiding those seeking asylum. My issue lies within the method they choose to find a ‘Safe Haven’. Syrian refugees have fled, uncontrolled and without documentation, across 5 borders and past nearly a dozen other countries to reach Hungary. What was wrong with any of these places? Why not stop moving after reaching Turkey?

PARENTHOOD; THE UGLY TRUTH

With nothing else in life is it possible to both simultaneously love and hate with equal servings of passion, as being a parent. And when I say hate being a parent, I mean hate your own child. Don’t get me wrong – I love my daughter with every element of my being… but my god she can be a right c*nt sometimes. Nothing anyone ever says can quite prepare you for the torment and torrent of emotions that is parenting.

WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE NURSES?!

Following the somewhat vulgar display of aggression from the anti-conservative movement in the UK, the nurses have once again managed to make it all about themselves. I find it hard to comprehend why the British media give them so much air time. 

Their plight is one of pay… Isn’t it always? Yet again, they are gripped with fury over their meager 1% pay rise – which, don’t get me wrong, is not even remotely representative of inflation. What I fail to align with, however, is what makes nurses unique? Because, let’s be honest – nobody else is getting a cost of living increase. 

WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

Such an innocuous question, Where Are You From, but yet one that can be loaded with malice. I’m white and from the UK. Being asked where I am from when overseas is not usually a big deal and is often met with some remark regarding a World Cup event (I am far from sport orientated so usually smile and nod). My wife is also from the UK, but her parents are not, and so the standard response of “I’m from the UK” is not usually enough to satisfy the curiosity of the interrogator.

This question comes in many forms depending on the country you are in. We live now in Perth, WA – and Australians, as with Americans, are often interested to meet someone from the UK. For my wife (who has a British accent that would rival most Toffs) the colour of her skin could not be further from their minds – They are just wooed by the lyrical intonations of her voice. 

DYSLEXIA… AKA THE STUPID DISEASE

I have a dirty secret… I have Dyslexia. Why does this bother me? Because I don’t believe dyslexia exists. All it means is I have to try a bit harder, put in a bit more effort and tailor my career path.

If I had come forward and confessed this when I started university, I would have been provided with a brand new Macbook and iPhone to make my studying “easier”. Who pays for these freebies? The tax payer. I guess the thing that bites the most, is that studying architecture somewhat necessitates having a laptop. It’s a pre-requisite. So why should someone with dyslexia skirt around the $2000 everyone else has to spend?

ANTI-VAXXERS

This week, the Australian Government took a bold step in combating the damage caused by parents who refuse to vaccinate their offspring. Against much protest, they intend to withhold child support from families if they refuse to immunise on the grounds of conscientious objection. It still amazes me that in this day, people can blindly refuse to protect their children. What is in fact most selfish is the harm they will cause to others by not doing so.

 There are of course, acceptable reasons for refusing vaccinations; religious belief, and medical grounds. Having a vaccination does not guarantee 100% protection from the disease, but rather works on the premise of protecting of the population aka Herd Immunity. By achieving a large enough percentage of cover it prevents the rapid large scale spreads seen previously and offers protects those who are medically unable to receive immunisation (such as children receiving chemotherapy) by increasing the degrees of separation.

PASSWORDS

Everything requires a password. That’s not a bad thing – but what doesn’t help is the lack of consistency between specifications. Some require more than 10 letters, others won’t accept punctuation or repetition of numbers/letters. This complex mix of capitals, numbers and punctuation leads only to one thing – confusion. I have tried as far as reasonably possibly to standardise my passwords. I have one overarching super strong one for my email account, a simplified version for everything else, and a basic one for the annoying sites with extreme limitations on permitted characters.

Road Rage

I have driven in S.E. Asia, Europe and Central America… but without a doubt, Perth has by far the worst drivers. Let me summarise;